I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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