I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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