I can text with my tongue
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize