Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize