i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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