He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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