God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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