I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
