I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
