I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
