I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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