im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
