You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
