so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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