I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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