my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
