im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
