After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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