I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
