I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
