Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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