Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
