I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
