he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
