We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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