I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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