My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
