There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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