I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
