This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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