They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
