So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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