I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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