You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
