I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
