Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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