Sry I called you an 8
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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