Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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