I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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