i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
