i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am spending my child support on dildos
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
time to smoke my breakfast
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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