Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
