Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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