I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
