Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
