Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
