next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
