It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
