Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize