you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
