sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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