just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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