Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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