my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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