You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?