I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.