"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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