ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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