I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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